i've always had reservations about writing something set in an all girls high school basketball team because it scares me to think about how it could trip a lot of real chords unintentionally, but then again, aren't we all about tripping chords everywhere?

footnotes to a mixtape
~3800 words, to barbie's music from the buffet table.

very early this morning, andrea woke with a start. long story short, the standfan had stopped working. le sigh, it was barely two years old; i dismantled it this morning using my father's trusty screw driver. awa ng diyos, nagkasya pa rin sa loob ng kahon from which we took it out when i first moved here. signos ba ito ng darating na pagbabago universe, hahaha.

anyway, i think my sister is a considerable percentage closer to graduating this april. hahaha. she had me proofread her acknowledgement page - my favorite part of the thesis, truth be told. bilang namems ako sa sarili kong thesis days (looking back, ngayon ko lang ata fully na-appreciate yung words na "for binding". ano ba yun.) e inungkat ko ang final manuscript ng thesis namin ni julie na na-save ko sa isang CD somewhere. wala lang. dapat talaga pinag-iisipan kung sinu-sino yung nilalagay dun e. haha joke lang.

anyway again, the other day i tried to write something. it's always a struggle lately, and this one i had to wrestle out of myself early in the morning. i just find it frustrating how i could start staring at the computer screen at 8:30 in the morning and only start typing around 11. damn.

and guys, guys - have you heard of schuyler fisk? because she's amazing. ktnxbye.

found this in one of my sister's more recent photo albums. last month a couple of months ago, we marked my mother's birth anniversary. she would've been 50. i'm not sure who took this photo, but this is by far the most final photo i've ever seen of my mother's tombstone. sorry i wasn't there mom. you know how it is. of course, you do.

*

anyway it feels like ages since i last wrote wrote something. i still attribute it to the lack of nicotine. jesus, a year hence and still that part of my brain is still not working on its own. kinda scary, if you think about it. what exactly have i done to myself. tsk.

so yeah, a couple of nights ago i finished something that had been sitting in my hard drive for the last six months. that night, the ending came to me, and i was like, Of course, how else could it have ended? indeed. how else.